Britain Bounces Back
Posted on: 02 Mar, 21
It’s been a tough old time for Britain (and we include Northern Ireland in that definition, it just doesn’t fit in the title as easily) – but the UK isn’t done yet.
Why are you so excited, Oury?
Because of the UK, Clark. If there’s a country with as much going for it, I’d like to know what it is?
Er… really? Covid, Brexit, divided nation.
Shucks. Everywhere’s got Covid. Brexit’s done now. And the only place the nation is divided is on Twitter. Twitter is not the real world.
It is to Piers Morgan.
I blocked him.
erm.. I’m sure Piers Morgan is devastated that YOU blocked him, he may never recover from not being able to see you post yet another photo of smashed avocado on toast! So why has the UK got so much going for it then?
Where do I start?
COVID-19.
OK. We have got the vaccination rolled out quicker than anyone. We’ve had more pricks than any other country.
You’re still talking about the vaccine right?
Very funny Clark! Of course I am! Thanks to Brexit we have been able to move quicker than the EU.
Stop. You know that word is banned?
The EU?
No, Brexit!
Apologies. Due to the fact that we don’t have to wait for the go-ahead from 27 other countries…
Aaaagh!
We have been able to roll out our vaccine programme quicker than other countries.
That is mentioning Brexit by the back door.
Fair enough. Assuming, thanks to the vaccine, we are able to open up for business…
Assuming! They might still keep us locked down… what if there are more, stronger strains … you haven’t been in the office in twelve months and with all the food you left in your desk I wouldn’t be surprised if a strain of the virus has developed right there!
Ok Fair enough. They might. But look at the pound. It’s telling you something.
What?
It’s soaring in the foreign exchange markets. Against pretty much every currency. The yen, the dollar, the Canadian dollar.
Have you been speculating in forex again?
I have and I’ve been buying Britain.
Well take your profits and walk away.
No! The pound has got further to go. The UK has got so much going for it, as I keep saying. I was watching a presentation by an economist the other day.
Oh, god. Not an economist. They should be banned too.
True. How many economists does it take to change a lightbulb?
More than is necessary?
Correct. Fifty. 1 to change the lightbulb and 49 to tell you why it won’t work. Anyway, this economist was different to all the others.
HOW?
Because I agreed with what he was saying.
I know the feeling.
Labour markets are robust, they bounce back quickly, he was saying.
Not when half the economy’s shut down.
But we’ve got the vaccine. And things are already looking up. If you look at the job advert trackers…
Must I?
There are lots of sectors where there is a shortage of labour. All sorts of new forms of consumerism have arisen, new economies, new markets. Restaurants may be dying, but deliveries and take-aways are flying like never before.
Food deliveries are a bit like Tinder. What you get is never as good as the photo.
The UK is leading the way in Internet consumption. Retail now takes place from home. All those products are distributed through warehouses and delivered providing a much needed network of jobs. Think of all the effort and packaging that goes into delivering just a simple tin of beans to your doorstep?
That’s true, Why do you think that they call Amazon, Amazon?
I don’t know Clark, but I’m sure you’re going to tell me…
Because they use enough packaging every year to deplete an entire rainforest!
Some sectors have become much more efficient, where employment leads to high value added.
Value added what?
Value added value. Science, bio science, ecommerce, e finance. They’re all flying. Academia. There’s a lot of employment growth in the public sector.
Public sector growth is not real growth.
It’s real employment.
Humbug!
And as far as internet penetration is concerned.
I’ve seen that website and I wish I hadn’t! This is not the place for that kind of lewd chat.
That’s not what I’m talking about (but that sector is booming too). I meant the extent to which people use the internet. The UK beats both the US and the rest of Europe. That’s enabled all these new businesses to do so well. It’s not possible in, say, southern Europe because the internet penetration is just not as good.
Their in real life penetration is probably better though!
Delivering a product to your front door is not as easy as it looks. It’s an incredible bespoke service.
Yes, it must take the Royal Mail an incredible amount of skill to take my last three perfectly labeled deliveries … and lose them!
And another industry. Tourism. Everyone’s staying in the UK. All those southern European economies – Greece and Spain, Turkey, North Africa – that rely on the pound every summer. Well that money’s going to be spent in the UK. British resorts, British hotels, British restaurants.
Skegness is the new Magaluf.
The UK savings ratio has gone from 5 to 20%. £100bn in savings waiting to be spent – spent on anything from investment housing to consumption. It’s a lot of money come into the economy.
It’s a lot of inflation.
And another advantage we have over Europe is English. English is the language of the internet. Who needs French or German any more?
Ireland is still in the EU and they speak English…
Yes, but nobody can understand what they’re saying. All those rich Asian economies will send their kids to be educated here rather than France or wherever.
Poor France with its useless language that nobody speaks. French might be the language of love, but English is the language of money!
That’s great for academia and education. People want their young to learn English.
Even our timezone – halfway between the US and Asia. Our location.
Assuming you’re flying west and not east. Surely we have always had this location.
Yes, but it’s more important than ever. We’re better placed for relations with the US. We still have rule of law.
Just. And the time difference to America is still the same as it always was, especially between us and the eastern states. I remember going from London to Arizona a few years ago, when I left London it was 7.30am and when I arrived in Arizona it was ….
1963! Yes I know but It’s still better than the continent which tells you, you can’t do anything without permission, whereas we say you can do anything as long as it’s not forbidden.
That sounds like an episode of Yes, Minister.
That’s another thing we’ve got – our entertainment industry.
Last time I watched the BBC it wasn’t very entertaining.
Look! I’m sorry I made you watch “Fleabag” while your kids were in the room but when are you going to stop going on about it? We still have plenty of entertainers and other channels for them to export their produce.
We tried to export Piers Morgan and they sent him back!
It’s so easy to set up a company in the UK. It’s a good place to do business. There is plenty of value to be found here, especially with the weak pound.
I thought you said it was rising.
It is. But it’s still cheap. Britain is in the sweet spot. There has been a sharp rise in unemployment, but there will be a sharp recovery.
You should go and work in the foreign office – promoting the UK abroad.
I should. But then I’d have to leave the UK. And who would want to do that?
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We are but two fictitious characters throwing out ideas and comment to stimulate debate and collect information. As professional service firms, we are open-minded people and think independent thought and debate are essential to help us understand as well as navigate complex problems. By joves – doing business across Europe (and the world) is set to become a whole lot more complex in light of recent seismic political events. As businesses – we provide information and hopefully some wisdom – and we see this blog and its caricatures merely as a much more fun, perhaps slightly controversial, way of stimulating debate and collecting ideas. We’re searching for some true pearls of wisdom, and as we find them, we’ll share them with you.
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